Hi kinfolk.
Sorry for the hiatus, we were in Nicaragua.
We went for a vacation. Our kids are now 5 and 8 years old and we felt they were up for a little more than Hawaii which is where we tend to go when we need a hit of sun and escape. Truth be told, we did little research, but everything we looked at about Nicaragua just seemed to make sense and feel good, so we took a leap and booked 16 days there in a rural VRBO.
When I think back to our time there my heart feels full. You know that clip in the Grinch Who Stole Christmas where his heart pops out of a box in his chest? That’s the feeling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEA_gt9rc9c
I tend to be a sucker for beautiful places. There are few places I’ve visited that I haven’t thought were the most wonderful place on earth and, upon return, spent hours daydreaming about how to get back there to live out the rest of my days.
Nica hit me hard. It grabbed me by my shoulders, put my feet on the ground, then opened up its big smiling face and wrapped its arms around me. I loved it. We all loved it.
I wish I could of written you a story about each day I had there and perhaps, one day I will get that opportunity. But alas, I have children. Children seem to need attention. Even if you try to exercise your best attempt at benign neglect, they have a way of banging bongo drums, stepping on bird sized beetles, or wanting a feeding every 4 minutes and thirty seconds.
But I will tell you now what hit me the most in the face in Nicaragua – you don’t need much, you have everything you need.
Every time we drove to our beautiful place we drove by the city dump. It was sprawling, the vultures were everywhere there. It was up on a bit of a hill outside of town in the jungle, not far at all from the ocean. When the rain pours there, and to be clear, it’s a jungle, I would imagine many many things from that dump travel down to the beautiful ocean below. This dump is no different than any other in the world. Ya this one is right in your face, but I don’t think it’s that different. So every time I saw a plastic bottle lid on the beach, I pictured exactly where it came from. And when we went home and drank juice from a plastic bottle with just such a lid I said, fuck. So we tried to do better. We bought glass, we brought bags to the beach and picked up plastic most days, we re-used the plastic containers we had in the house already for sand toys instead of buying more plastic.
And we made a mental note of that dump and vowed that every time we reached to buy something, anything, we would think really hard first. Do I really need this? What is its actual purpose? Can I do better? Where will it ultimately end up? Does it bring joy? Because the other thing that hit us hard was that the Nicaraguan people are happy and kind and generous and so damn attentive. They see and pay attention to everything you do with a desire to connect with and please you. And they are this happy and this present without “having” much (of course, that absolutely depends on your definition of “much”). Their homes and the wells where they get their water are rough, there are zero “modern conveniences”, there is dirt and mud everywhere, there is no hospital, no EMS, no mail, and their tax system was just digitalized last year. But the gaggle of kids running around those homes are happy and well dressed and everyone in that home will wave and smile at you and remember you next time you pass.
It seems somewhere between embarrassing and hilarious to sit in my house now, with all that surrounds me.
So as the holiday season approaches, remember, you don’t need much, you have everything you need. Try this and consider where is desire and need in this space:
https://insighttimer.com/giovanni/guided-meditations/guided-i-am-meditation
Also, your kids don’t need much. Again, that assumes we are defining “much” as something you can hold in your hand. Yes, kids like novelty and new things. But they mostly just like new things TO THEM. They don’t care if another kid loved it previously or how much it costs or what store it came from. And you know what, they don’t need many new things, they only like a few at a time. How many shirts does your five year old actually like? I can count about 3 currently, on a really good day. When you pack a suitcase for them for vacation, how many clothes do they actually wear? Out of the heaps of plastic toys in the house, how many do they fight over constantly? About 2 or 3 right? So use your local consignment store, reuse until your brains fall out, pack the toys you have away and bring them back out 6 months later, the possibilities are endless.
I’d also be willing to bet that more than anything they can hold in their hand, your family or best friend would prefer time with you. A date where you are fully present and available to listen to them and maybe even share something of yourself with them. A card or letter that reminds them that you get them, you’ve got their back, you are pumped for the next year of adventures together. A picture of the two of you smiling broadly and enjoying life together. Those things will fill hearts and cause true joy.
Giving Tuesday is coming next week. I think you know what that is going to mean. You can ride the swell with me or chose your own. Either way, remember what you’ve got.