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The Dance – Part 1.

There’s a dance that goes on.  It mostly goes on in the middle of my chest but can do circles and spins all over.  It’s an entertaining dance, distracting really.  I’m fascinated with it.

The two partners in this dance are equals but somewhat opposite.  One knows all the rules and, in fact, loves making them.  She follows and upholds.  She’s interested in what is fair, ethic, perseverance, flourishes in routine and can take on more than most with ease.  She sees what you are saying without you even having to talk, in fact, she feels it.  Nonetheless, she will still listen to you and wants to know all that you have to say.  She could do this for days.  “You” might be a friend or the grocery store clerk or a deer or a tree or the wind.  She cares deeply and believes there is good everywhere and that there is no doubt that it ultimately prevails.  She is mom and healer, walking through tall blades of grass on a warm summer’s afternoon.

Her partner is not interested in rules just for the sake of rules and quakes with frustration when they are made just so.  Her partner speaks out in expletives to those she trusts.  She dances to a different beat.  It’s full of harder energy and vibration – like butterflies in your stomach afire in neon colours.  She needs life turned on max –  music on high, lyrics seething with meaning, desire, fever, deep experiences.  Superficial is her poison.  She loves you too but can’t tolerate you not loving yourself enough to be real.  She wants to connect with you too, in fact she thrives on connection, but she won’t try if you can’t see and listen to what’s in front of you.  She’s wildfire.

The two dance.  It is not a battle.  No one wins or loses a dance.  The partners take turns with the lead with the need to lead lasting seconds, moments, weeks, seasons.  Ultimately, one partner does spend much more time leading than the other, but she smiles knowing that the other is there.  They know they could easily dance alone, but prefer to revel in the artistry created when instead they dance together.

I have two girls.  One is a lover, one is wildfire.

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Are you thinking San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua?! …

San Juan del Sur, hmmm …. Trying to decide if this might be the place for your next get away?

Trying to figure out if it’s a crazy thought or the best one you’ve ever had?

Do you like Hawaii but find yourself trying to find places that are further and further from the crowds and resorts?  Do you love humanity but struggle with humans sometimes?  Do want to explore but also be assured of full relaxation and peace?  Are you searching for authentic, real, vast, and eye opening but also easy?  Are you pro kale/savasana and anti news ticker/”busy”?  … Then I present to you Casa Tranquila (see more links below):

http://www.casasdebalcones.com/casa-tranquila/

And to answer the next questions that pop into your mind, I present to you:

Booking Tranquila FAQs

  • How do we get there?
    Fly into Managua.
    It is then a 2.5 hour-ish drive to San Juan del Sur. The drive is easy and picturesque!
    There are many shuttles OR the rental car places are right beside the airport. If you’ve rented a car, go to the rental car desks IN the airport first. Laura, who you will book the property through, can give you a contact name for a rental car agent. We use Dollar. You absolutely need a 4×4 as the roads in San Juan del Sur near the property are not paved and can be steep and pot hole-y.
    If you want to break up the drive, or arrive later than about noon-1pm into Managua, then stay a night or 2 in Granada. It is great! We’ve stayed at Hotel Dario there and loved it, the girls still talk about it and the fresh juice at breakfast in the morning is mind-blowing.
    The property itself is then a 25min drive from San Juan del Sur up to the beach and jungle! Laura will arrange for you to meet your personal concierge from Re/Max to escort you up to the property. The ladies at Re/Max are awesome! They will meet you in San Juan del Sur and show you around, show you where to get groceries and help you buy them the first time, and then bring you up to the property and give you the scoop on it! They will answer all your questions and make sure you are comfy. And they will be available the rest of the trip to help out if you have any questions! They can give surf lessons, they can bring masseuses to you, they can bring chefs to you, you name it!
  • What is the weather like?


Short answer … it’s almost on the equator … so things don’t change much … it mostly alternates between paradise or paradise.
But this is an excellent summary from sanjuandelsur.org:
The San Juan del Sur climate is largely a function of elevation and does not vary greatly with the seasons. From sea level to 2,460 ft (750 meters) daytime temperatures average 86°F (30°C) to 91°F (33°C) and night temperatures fall to 69°F (20°C) to 75°F (24°C) for most of the year.
Given its latitude just a few degrees north of the equator, San Juan del Sur has equal hours of daylight and darkness throughout the year. The driest months are December to April when there is little or no rain, days are reliably sunny and warm and nights are clear. The dry season is known locally as verano (summer). Deciduous trees shed their leaves to later erupt with pink or yellow blossoms. Towards the end of the season the streams dry up and dust can reduce visibility.
Although wet and dry seasons are becoming more unpredictable, the rains typically start in May, quickly turning the landscape a bright green. The wet season is referred to as invierno (winter) or “green season” and lasts to November. The rains tend to be heaviest in September and October and lightest in July and August. But even during the wettest periods, the rains rarely last for more than a few hours, clearing quickly. January and February have the most wind, but again it typically doesn’t blow all day, even on windy days.

  • Is it safe? Is it ok for kids?
    Yes and Yes.
    I run there every morning by myself in the jungle or on the back country roads. All I see are smiles and wildlife in the trees. I’ve never felt unsafe. Nicaraguans love kids!!
    The property’s pool is great for kids (but do note it is not fenced), as are the beaches. Older kids will have a blast in the perfect waves and younger ones can dabble in tide pools or the long beach stretches at low tide.
  • What do you do there?


You can find tons of adventure with zip lines, horseback riding, catamarans, surfing, eating, yoga-ing etc. But we go there to chill. We have lazy mornings around the house, go for a run, make smoothies, play in the pool, watch the monkeys and parrots and butterflies, read and draw, enjoy some music in the wide open space. Then we usually head to the beach when we tire of that. We bring tons of snacks, cards, books, a few sand toys and just laze laze laze! By the end of the day we usually sidle up to the tiny beach bar hut and grab a cold drink and stare out across the pacific ocean as the sun sets. Then we either head into town to try a new restaurant or make a delicious meal poolside back home. Bedtime usually comes early as the fresh air tires you out and the sun typically sets by 6ish pm (and you’ll want to be up when it rises again at 6 am!).

Fave spots:
https://www.zenyoganicaragua.com –

if you happen to need a night in San Juan del Sur before the property is ready …

http://www.barriocafesanjuan.com

be sure to go to the top terrace for the hammocks!! Also, smoothies and the included breakfast are ridiculous!

https://www.tripadvisor.ca/Restaurant_Review-g528745-d3538280-Reviews-Republika_Bar-San_Juan_del_Sur_Rivas_Department.html

great veg and vegan choices, kids love it, cocktails and smoothies are amazing

https://buddhasgardensjds.weebly.com

amazing plant based food, amazing staff, love love love! In the same building as Zen Yoga.

http://www.eltimonsanjuandelsur.com

plantain and yucca chips … hello!! Pizza and tona at the end of a hot day … hello!!! … also known for their seafood, obv!

http://www.maderasvillage.com/

magic and yoga near the property

https://www.artesano-hotelcafe.com

ditto

  • Where do you buy groceries?

3 main spots – 

1. The Pali – Walmart-esque for basics … tortillas, rice, beans, juice, mixers, beer, cereal, condiments, some fruit and veg, bread, some meat and fish …
2. The market – tons of fruit and veg and spices and flax/chia and herbs and nica feta! You can fill two plastic bags to the brim for about 7$.
3. The Sanchez/Miscellanea/Corner stores in town – most of the comforts of home … nut butters, nuts, quinoa, salsa, snacks, cheese, yogurt, …

There is a pier where you can get fresh fish very day and a carvery if you fancy meat!

  • What is the sleeping layout like?
    There are 3 main places to sleep. The property has 4 little buildings mostly in a U-shape around the pool. You enter into the main one which has the living room and kitchen. On either side of this is the Master room and the Jack + Jill rooms. The Master building has a queen bed and a separate little office that could accommodate an air mattress or playpen if you have infants. The Jack + Jill building has two rooms, each with a queen bed and a Jack + Jill washroom in between them. I would say that if you want to sleep in the Master, then you will probably want your kids to be 5ish and older to sleep alone in the Jack + Jill. I would bring a monitor or walkie talkie to keep it fun! Of course the Jack + Jill beds are stunning and have awesome views too! So parents could certainly take one of those rooms with kids beside them and no ONE will be disappointed! The 4th building is a self contained little casita to the side of the other 3. It is like a artists/yogis haven! Again, great view, super quiet, has a little kitchenette … another couple or older kids or grandparents would LOOOOVE it!
  • Beaches – where are they and what are they like?
    Amazing. Obviously.


The 2 nearest to the property are:
1. Playa Majagual – this is actually 2 beaches split in the middle by Matilda’s (super cool snack hut and hostel). On the far side of Matilda’s the beach is always swimmable. On the closest side the waves can get a bit big for young kids but they are super fun for older “kids” and this is the most beautiful spot I’ve ever been to. Often entirely secluded.
Just get to know the tides! They shift by about 30mins each day. If you go at low tide, the water is so far out that it creates a vast beach of puddles for young kids to explore in.
If you have kids or don’t want to walk home after you’ve spent the afternoon in the sun and topped it off with a Tona … then the beach is a quick 5-10min drive down from the property. If you are a runner, this beach is 15mins +/- from the property and a great place for a morning swim.  Apart from the little hut that sells what seem to be the coldest most divine Tonas and some snacks … there are no services at these beaches, no bathrooms etc.

2. Playa Maderas – this sits directly about 1km under the property. Ask for directions 😉 But you can walk to Maderas from Majagual beach. Just be sure to watch the tides as doing the walk at highest tide might be dicey. The walk is about 10mins max. Maderas is home of the surfing “scene”, but there are great tide pools for little kids too. Great fish tacos and drinks, smoothies, yoga …

Of course there are many more beaches that are an enjoyable drive away …
I like this run down the best:
http://sanjuansurf.com/beaches/

And if you want a prelim SURF run down:
http://lushpalm.com/surfing-nicaragua/

  • What money do I bring?
    Just need to take American dollars with you. There are ATMs in San Juan del Sur. You will get Cordobas back in change most often.
  • Any vaccines needed?
    Check out the CDC and see what you think, but I don’t think anything special is needed.
  • How do I see pictures and book?

3 choices:

https://www.airbnb.ca/rooms/41865

https://www.vrbo.com/628924

http://www.casasdebalcones.com/casa-tranquila/

The different sites add their own fees to the nightly rates, so just ask for a quote to see what the rate will be for your stay.
Laura and Joel are the two wonderful people who rent the places for us (that’s why you don’t see our faces there!). They are fantastic and are happy to answer your questions too.

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Human Touch

There is no need to search.  There is always someone at arms’ length.  They don’t call him the Boss for no reason.  Go forth and touch.
You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don’t surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain’t no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain’t gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin’
But I got a deal for you right here
I ain’t lookin’ for praise or pity
I ain’t comin’ ’round searchin’ for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Ain’t no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain’t no bread from heavenly skies
Ain’t nobody drawin’ wine from this blood
It’s just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I’m askin’s too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can’t shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin’ the love that remains
We’re all riders on this train
So you’ve been broken and you’ve been hurt
Show me somebody who ain’t
Yeah, I know I ain’t nobody’s bargain
But, hell, a little touchup
and a little paint
You might need somethin’ to hold on to
When all the answers, they don’t amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I’m askin’s too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that Human Touch
Feel a little of that Human Touch
Give me a little of that Human Touch
~ Bruce Springsteen
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My response to the man who told me quit putting my personal life first and bear more of the burden (aka goings on in my other life):

To the editorial board of the Times Colonist.

I have struggled with an article you posted:  “New light on doctor shortage”.  I have struggled to understand how you could harbour such animosity towards family physicians, in particular female family physicians.  I would like to take you out for a cup of tea and talk this over with you.  I would like to understand why it is you feel this way.  Unfortunately, I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so that likely won’t happen.  So, let’s do it here.  Let’s get to know each other.  Because, you know what, we are on the same team.  We want the same thing.  I may be a physician, but I’m also a mom, sister, wife, daughter, grandchild, and human.  I get sick, my family gets sick.  We all need care.

So let me tell you about me.  I’m 40 years old.  I did 11 years of school and training to become appropriately qualified and safe to work as a family doctor, which I began to do in 2010.  I work about 50 – 60 hours a week with somewhere between 12 – 36 of those hours being either overnight or on the weekend or both.  I take home approximately $13,000 dollars a month.  That works out to about 55 – 65 $/hr, assuming an hour of work at 3am on Saturday is equal to an hour of work at 3pm on Wednesday.  This is the full sum of my income.  There is no vacation or sick pay, no extended health coverage, no pension.  If you look me up in the MSC Financial Statement (i.e. the “Blue Book”), you will find my income to be much higher, approximately $23,300 dollars a month or 100 – 115$/hr.  This 56% discrepancy is due to the costs I incur to practice family medicine in my own community office, to mention a few: staffing, equipment, rent, hydro, electronics, five different insurances, two different licensing fees, fees to lawyers and accountants and bookkeepers.  I am very similar to most family physicians I know.

My income makes up over 80% of our household income as it is difficult to find regular childcare between the hours of 5pm and 8am and also we need my husband to be able to be at home if our children are sick or have days off of school because I cannot change my schedule.  It was a very difficult decision for us to make to structure our lives this way.  My husband is university educated and previously worked in the financial sector.  However, the stress of my hours in parallel with him working just a regular 9-5 job was significantly impacting our family so we made that decision.  My husband now makes about $2000 dollars a month doing all the bookkeeping, IT support, human resources and some purchasing for our 8 room, 12 doctor, 4 nurse, 3 allied health, 5 medical office assistant clinic.  It occupies most of his day outside of childcare.

We have a wonderful life.  We are happy, our children are happy and I love my job and feel privileged to be a part of all my patients’ lives.  They teach me so much and enrich my life in ways that many of them will never know.  I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

I found your article hurtful and disrespectful.  Over our cup of tea I would now try to understand how your experience has lead you to be able to feel such a way and I would provide some insight into why I feel so strongly against much of what you wrote.  I know that many of my colleagues have written your paper with their own concerns about the inaccuracy of your article and its inflammatory tone, so I would focus on what is most concerning to me in our conversation.

“In practice, we are paying physicians to work less.  This effect is particularly noticeable in female physicians, who, on average, see almost 40 per cent fewer patients than their male colleagues. Of course, there are legitimate reasons for some portion of this difference. Much of the burden of child-rearing falls on women.”

You wrote this.  I would like to understand what the goal of you writing this was.  Should I feel guilty? Should I endeavour to find another career that I can do a better job pulling my weight at?  Should I encourage my two girls to avoid medicine as a career as their breasts and uteruses will prevent them from serving society as is adequate?  Surely, no, this is not what you meant to imply.  I would love for you to clarify though, in fact 50% of the population would love for you to clarify.  Also, consider that perhaps it may be a good thing that women see 40% less patients then men.  As a patient, would you like me to rush you through the office or would you prefer me spend a little extra time with you when your marriage is falling apart or when your father was just diagnosed metastatic cancer?  As your wife or your mother, would you like me to increase my hours to 80 per week?

Although not forgivable, it is easy to see how one could be hurtful when they are at arms length or simply don’t know the population they speak of.  However, it is more challenging to understand a journalist misrepresenting facts.  I would encourage the paper to publish the letters that it has received that provide a rebuttal to the bulk of your article’s insinuation that the fees paid to family physicians have escalated while the doctors have sat back and done less.  Also, to remind you how the fee schedule works, if I choose to spend more time with a patient as they are seriously unwell, physically or emotionally, I do not get paid more.  I only receive a payment if I see a patient.  If a patient does not show up for their appointment, I do not receive any income and I pay the expenses for that time.   If I go on vacation, I do not receive any income and I pay the expenses for those weeks still.  If I “man up” and work 40% more hours, then yes, I will earn 40% more I suppose.  And yes, I do “consider myself self employed” and yes, I do have to be “entrepreneurial” to be sure I generate an income while doing so.  I consider my 55-65$/hr to be appropriate to my level of training.  I would positively love not to have to give flu shots as it adds 5 unpaid minutes to the routine appointment the patient is otherwise in for.  Multiply that by the 6 patients I see every hour and you can see the math doesn’t work in my favour.  I could alternatively have people just book an appointment for their flu shot, then I can bill $5.17.  And please, please do train more family physicians as I think it is the most important and rewarding job in the world.  However, if I’m being a fiscally responsible Canadian, I would caution you to do that math first too.  Because simple supply and demand rules apply.  The very unfortunate truth is is that we currently train enough family physicians but they choose not to go into community family practice.  They choose to work in hospitals or emergency rooms or in academia or any where else except the community family doctor’s office.  Why?  Because they can earn appropriate to their level of training and expertise in those other settings and not suffer the public back lash from articles such as yours.

“If GPs, in balancing their personal lives with their professional responsibilities, place too much weight on the former, no amount of government support will suffice.”

And then you said this.  This is where the tea becomes really important.  Because I really need to understand how you feel you have the right to say this to me?  I would 100% expect your personal life to be your priority, our health and our families and our dreams should be everyone’s priority, why shouldn’t it be allowed to be mine?  If I choose to start my clinic 30 minutes later in the morning so I can exercise or take 2 weeks to go on vacation with my children, to reiterate, I do not get paid, the government is not involved.  If I go to work vomiting with morning sickness and have to ask my resident to give me an injection of Gravol in-between patients so they all get seen, the government is not involved.  Again, what is the goal of this statement?  I am, in fact, not asking for more “support”.  I am actually just asking to be respected.

“It is a disgrace that in the second decade of the 21st century, tens of thousands of British Columbians are denied the most basic medical service — reliable access to a family doctor.  While there are two sides to this issue, we must ask physicians to bear more of the burden.”

And then this is how you left it.  You lead the public to believe that it is family physicians themselves who are denying them of a family physician.  You spent a whole article insulting the practice of family medicine and then stated that, indeed, it was an essential service that every British Columbian should have the right to have and found it abhorrent that they didn’t have it.  Yes, it is abhorrent.  Yes, the population would be healthier and the health care expenditures would be lower if every British Columbian had a family physician.  But, after reading this article, and the 10 others that preceded it, and the 10 others that will follow it, 10 more educated young minds just decided to do something else.  10 more women just decided to stay home with their families.  You can not guilt us into thinking that we are not doing our part to bear this burden.  I encourage you to take me up on my tea offer.  I also encourage you to talk to my patients.  I think they will tell you that family physicians are doing their part.  I think they will tell you that we care.

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Who are your resolutions for?

I’m not a resolution type of gal.  I set enough standards for myself the other 364 days a year, I hardly need to hold January 1st for some sort of higher standard of demanding achievement.

I can understand the need for renewal and rethinking and refocusing  though.  Yes, please!  So I applaud those of you who are doing just that.  But, what I ask of you is to consider this – who are your resolutions for?  Are they just for you?  What would happen if they were for everyone but you?  For every single person on this planet.  What would that feel like?

Consider it.

Maybe you have a desire to read more.  Why?  Because that is what you are supposed to do to be learned and zen and armed with Instagram quotes up the wazoo?  What if you read more with the goal to learn and understand others more?  To open your heart and mind to possibilities you thought out of reach?  To arm yourself with knowledge to improve this place little by little.

Maybe you want to improve your exercising and eating.  I ask you to really consider what “better” is in these cases.  Is your approach to better at the expense of something else?  Is your approach to physical fitness bettering your mind and heart and soul too?  Is your approach to eating better also better for all of us who share this earth with you?  Would it take the pressure off of what you are expecting from YOU if you knew that every time you put on your shoes or put your fork in your mouth you were acting to improve your health AND that of all of us too?

Maybe this is the year for meditation.  Who are you meditating for?  Do YOU want to go deeper, be calmer, be smarter so YOU are better?  Or could you sit down each morning to open yourself to the possibility of being more for someone else?  To being present in this world such that you are motivated to fight for it.

I don’t want us all to strive for sainthood, that would be entirely boring af.  But let’s expand a little in 2018.  Outside of ourselves.  I think you might find if part of your refocusing includes turning the magnifying glass away from YOU, YOU may even become a little more learned, healthy and zen without even trying.