Here’s what I want you to mull over: what makes you leak?
Now, I wish I could come up with a better word for ‘leak’ but I can’t seem to. So, it will have to serve the purpose today. Eloquent Jenn doesn’t seem to be at the ready for this one. And, so, I ask again, what makes you leak?
I cannot sing the song Fiddler’s Green without crying. I can’t think of that last performance of Grace, Too without eyes tearing. This morning I was having the best run and I spontaneously flung drool from my mouth. Sex, good sex, that’s an obvious one. So, seriously, what makes you leak and how often do you do it? Maybe you do it daily, out of pain and suffering and frustration? Good. That’s real. That’s feeling. Maybe you can’t remember the last time you did it? That’s a problem. Who am I to say that’s a problem, I’m not sure, but you’re the one who’s still reading this despite all my years of meandering. Right?
Pain, joy, ecstasy, lyric, desperation, suffocation, searching, loneliness, vibrancy, knowing – not one is better than the other. Not one can exist without the other. They all have intelligence, they all guide. If you avoid joy only because it could lead to suffering, you aren’t feeling. If you keep trying to push away pain and never let it show you the way to ecstasy, you aren’t feeling. Feeling. Feeling. Feeling. Feel it all.
Feel your body move. Put your feet on the ground, pull your crown to the sky, grow an inch taller, let your body support you, feel its strength, feel its power, feel its universe. Breathe. Move your body in space, listen to your breath. Let someone else touch your body with reverence and if they don’t revere, then find someone who does. If there is no one right now, whatever, touch it yourself. Revere it yourself. Can you? No really, can you?
Listen to your mind, let it race, let it babble, record all of its thoughts whether you understand them or not. If you go to say, write, draw, sing, or feel something and then decide you better not, think again. Think again and think hard about why you choose not to and how is this serving you. Frankly, how is it serving us?
I’m still not quite sure what it is we are doing here but what I do know is that I feel and some of us need to feel more. Daily, encounter something that makes your cells swell and come back alive. Notice it. Repeat it. Harness it.