Many questions about britches.

I have always lauded those around me for keeping me ‘in check’ – making sure I was never too big for my britches so to speak.

I still believe this to be important.  I would like to think it has made me kind and thoughtful in what I do and aim to achieve. I would like to think this has enabled reasonable priorities and perspective – it lends one more to the pursuit of general-ism and a broadness of scope if one doesn’t subscribe to the thought that they could be the ultimate authority in any one thing.

Furthermore, it’s obvious to me that I don’t just hold myself to this – humility may just be the distinguishing trait as to whether I consider you friend or foe.

Yet, I’ve been wondering lately, is there a risk to keeping oneself too “in check”? Is ambition necessarily a four-letter word? Can one have freedom from pride – and thus, humility – but also be able to celebrate one’s wins? If we are to push ourselves to our limits, strive for the unlikely, reach for the stars, be all that we can be, and so forth, is it not healthy and a bit of self-care to sit back and enjoy the odd achievement? In this ever complex world, where landscapes are saturated with voices screaming their messages, how does one share their ideas without a dash of assertiveness and a hint of hauteur?

Do I want my girls to ever question if they are too big for their britches – I don’t think so.  Do I want them to be humble?  Do I want them to listen?  Do I want them to have the ability to hear an argument and change their stance, if appropriate?  Absolutely.  Non-negotiable characteristics in my mind.  Do I want them to believe in hierarchy?  In dutifully earning one’s spot at the table instead of claiming it?  I don’t think so.  Would it be different if my children were male, not female?  I don’t know.  Are there times in life where ambition should be tampered in trade for humility?  Interesting thought.  Do you need to learn humility before ambition?  Tough to say.

Will – when I’ve exerted it – has oft lead to backlash and an immediate need to self reflect. Am I being too brash, too “difficult” – too big for my britches? Does this contemplation lend itself to further achievement or detract from it? Is the perceived backlash an indication of what growth my audience needs to do or what I must do?

It is more than obvious that I have more questions than answers. One point for humility I suppose. Yay me. But when one is in their forties and starting to speak and at times get listened to, it feels paramount to get to the bottom of this. So, as I walk forward in the various spaces of my life I will continue to mull this over and over.  I hope that in the important moments I find the right balance, or even better, the proper imbalance.  If I have successfully learned humility, I hope I can enter my season of ambition with grace.  I mean really, most britches are stretchy these days anyway right? 😉

~ xo J