Historically I’ve tended to identify with a few labels: type A, first born, OCD, maybe even, for a millisecond, straight laced (shudder ….). This has got me a long way in some respects. Being driven and organized and slightly manic about details is a fabulous way to get shit done FOR YOURSELF. You want to get your ass a few degrees – check. You want to attain a certain level of fitness – check. You want to get the house, car, appliances – check, check, check.
But, what if you want to effect change OUTSIDE of yourself? What if you want to build something that involves and inspires other people? These endeavours require more. Or perhaps … less.
When you are delicately wired to be compulsive about specifics and not leave a task until it is wholly complete, and you are generally used to doing this for yourself and doing it quickly, contemplating how to contribute to “BIG” change is utterly overwhelming. Why don’t you see what I see? Why don’t you feel what I feel? Why can’t you hear what I’m saying? How can anyone think this is a good idea? WHY DON’T WE CHANGE? WHY DON’T WE CARE? These are the thoughts that run through my mind whenever I pull my chair up to these proverbial tables. The frustration is palpable and vibrates inside like bottled lightening. This is not an enjoyable feeling and, in the past, has simply lead to me getting up and leaving the table eventually.
How does one stay at the table and not go crazy?
My new solution, JUST BE THE BRIGHT LIGHT. If the others around the table aren’t understanding you, then just gently but persistently, show them. Be the light. Be it over and over and over again. Commit to modelling what you wish others would see is the way to better. Not only will this mean that all your energy will be focused on where it counts but it will also be contagious. Because doing what you believe in feels luxurious and free and this will radiate and be noticed, I promise.
Just try it. Is there a system that is broken in your world? Have you sat at a table and felt lightening? Maybe it’s at your work? Maybe it’s at the dinner table? Maybe it’s in the news? Maybe it’s something you see every day? Instead of letting the overwhelm win, focus your energy on your good. Pick up that plastic with a smile on your face, look at your colleague in the eye and REALLY listen to them, eat your vegetables, make your cubicle the beacon for all that is right in the world.
I was listening to this podcast this morning which echoes this sentiment:
https://tim.blog/2018/03/05/jack-kornfield/
I really encourage you to listen all the way to the end.
Then off you go and shine brightly.