When both my mom and my mother in law come to visit, as with all our visitors, my hubby and I take pride in showcasing some of our favourite recipes for them. They mostly come in the fall and winter months, so we will often create a deeply nourishing plant based curry or stew and proceed to cup our hands around the bowls keeping warm and inhaling the divine scents (well, that’s what I do anyway. I’m pretty sure my beloved just ‘eats’.).
Now, since I was as young as I can remember I have always been harassed by my loving family members for the way I prep / plate my meals. For some reason they found hilarity in the fact that when I buttered my bread that I ensured all aspects of the bread had butter on them. Or when I made a sandwich that I ensured that each and every bit had as much goodness to offer as the next. I obviously never understood the humour in the situation, nor do I to this day. Who wants to bite into bland bread when your entire meal could melt in your damn mouth?! Life is too short people!
Anyway, this personality feature (yes, this is a feature people, not a flaw) lives strong. So when I have a bowl of curry I don’t just put the curry in the bowl. I might put some crispy sautéed kale on the bottom of the bowl first, maybe dust that shit with some extra goodness, then on goes the curry, then there’s usually a sliced avocado or some sultry sauce and maybe some sprouts or herb on there as well just to make it as pleasing to the eye as it is about to be to the mouth. Usually when all this freaking magic is happening, most people are already most of the way through their meal, but not my mom and mother in law. They are lingering, empty bowls hovering in air with a nervous look on their face, until my husband delicately points out that we’re not getting any younger here and they utter the famous words – “I’m just waiting to see what Jenn does.” And this, for some utterly inane reason drives me mad. Why? WHY? This is supposed to be my whole essence of being. I want others to see the wonderful ways of plants and health and joy and dusts and beauty and dive in head first squealing with delight! This is why I started this blog isn’t it? To show what I do and attract others, create a tribe and then use all our mad skills and energy to do great things! So why does this drive me nuts? Why?
Maybe because it’s been a long trek and at times a tough slog to figure out ME and that there is a dis-ease with someone just so easily jumping on board? Maybe because it feels like it dilutes ME? Maybe I’m worried I don’t actually have any of this figured out and it may be a real mistake to follow any damn thing I do?
Maybe. But I think (and HOPE) that mostly it’s because I want them to make the bowl that THEY love, that turns THEM on, that makes THEM happy. These are two of the strongest and most awesome women I know, perhaps it shakes me a bit to think that they are uncertain.
Now obviously I’m talking about more then a frickin’ bowl of curry.
And as stated straight off the line here, I have no idea what I’m doing writing a blog.
Also, I’m a woman.
So we’re going to take this opportunity to make a little course correction here folks. True, one of my goals here is to put on display all the things that bring me joy. And if you are out there finding joy in the same things, then I hope I find you. True, I hope then that this brings us “together” to consider ways of bringing joy to more people and more parts of this earth. But I want to now clarify something else – I want to share ME not because I want you to necessarily do all that I do. I share ME here because for me that’s a big deal; I’m not really a pro-star “share-er”. Truth be told, I hate sharing. Nachos, desserts, feelings, words – I like to keep them all to myself. But I think I’m here doing it because it’s going to do great things. I hope that maybe that inspires YOU to share more of YOU.
If you happen to be my kindred spirit and when you put a spread on a cracker you better believe every damn particle of that cracker is going to have spread on it, then fab. But I take some of my first words here back, I’m not looking for a tribe of MEs. Holy crap, that would be a little much. The world already has one of us, surely that is plenty. I want YOU. I want you to find YOU and be the most amazing, most dazzling YOU. Because then I can learn from YOU. Then I can connect with YOU. Then I can sit back and let YOU share while I listen. Then the world has YOU AND ME.
So I will continue to put all of ME out here and you go get busy being YOU. I’m not sure I have all of ME figured out, but we’re certainly getting there. There are many things that help the process: running, family, relationships, successes, failures, loves, losses, books, people, plants and over the past year or so, meditation. I started out dabbling in the Headspace App but I’ve found more of what suits ME in the Insight Timer App.
Some of my current favourites are:
https://insighttimer.com/andyhobson/guided-meditations/mountain-meditation
https://insighttimer.com/jonathanlehmann/guided-meditations/morning-meditation-ammas-beach
https://insighttimer.com/welcomeearth/guided-meditations/kundalini-gong-breath-meditation
https://insighttimer.com/joshuacanter/guided-meditations/om-mani-padme-hum-2
But, even better, don’t use mine … go find YOURS.
Go sit.
Preferably outside.
Even better if it is at dawn or dusk.
FIND YOU.
And once you do, please, tell us all about it.