Following along our Valentine’s theme here, this was an excellent podcast:
Relationships can be tough, whether it be with a spouse or a kid or a family member or a work colleague, you name it. We’re all familiar with the common platitude that you “must love yourself before you love anyone else”. And yes, I suppose there is some truth to that. But there is so much more too.
Many IG accounts (mine most likely included, shit!) would have you believe that you need to aspire to some heightened state of zen and self insight to be eternally happy and successful in this place. If you are unhappy, turn inwards and contemplate. If you are struggling, sit quietly and rest. If you want the ultimate health, work on your this and that and consume this potion NOW! Of course, at times, this is all absolutely true and needed. But, it’s a fine balance between being “good to yourself” and seeking inner expansion and becoming a bit of a self-centered asshole. (To be clear, I’ve not mastered this balance at all. So I’m learning right along with everyone else on this one too. Namaste. LOL)
I loved what this podcast had to say about relationships that work.
I have many relationships in my life but two of my most important are with my husband and my “work wife”. I can say with absolute certainty that what makes these two partnerships work is the struggle. Yes, the struggle. The struggle is, indeed, real. And at times, the struggle really is a solid pain in the ass. However, every time a challenge presents, whether it’s something we chose and invited or whether it’s something that blindsided us and momentarily knocked us flat, we thrive. We kick into gear and make it through. As life would have it, this is a pattern that repeats. At times it is tempting to complain about this repetition but listening to the chat above clued me into it’s value. Because, unbeknownst to us, each time we’ve made it to the other side of these battles, we’ve laid bricks on top of the foundation and told our brains that yes, this partnership is strong, it is lasting, you can trust it. Trust is a big deal. It’s a monumental deal for me.
One might think that well, that sounds boring. Here you are, just plodding through life, tackling “struggles” and such. How can that be more exciting than being out hiking rainbow laced trails in countries you’ve never explored while sipping fairy dusted earth potions? Well, let me tell you. When you fully trust a partner, when you’ve created synapses in your brain over and over again that fire and tell you there is nothing that can stop you two, then things get really bloody exciting. You can dare to do things that others wouldn’t. You can really push each other to actually be better, not just for yourself. You can dare to let yourself go, I mean, really go. It feels electric. Exciting. New. Wild.
So have a listen to this and see what you think. Then put your head to thinking who in your life do you want to go deeper with? And go grab them, get into battle with them, repeat a few more times, and then watch those sparks fly! Yowzaas!